The sun was sinking into the ocean, filling the sky with glorious colors, as I returned to my hut. My friend
was busy cooking over a wood fire. I sat close and shared with
her what had happened. I told her I must find out what meditation
and yoga were about - whatever happened tasted so good, I wanted it
again. In this way I became conscious of my desire for God. I did not do anything
for it; it came to me and gave me my purpose.
Soon it was time to leave Goa. We decided to travel by sea to Bombay. While passing the beaches of Goa on the ferry, I felt an immense rush of bliss. 'Thank you, Goa, you have been so good to me.'
When we arrived in New Delhi, my friend and I parted ways and I traveled by train to Benares to buy a sitar. Waiting at the Delhi train station, I experienced a level of energy as never before. I felt so high and free, and totally wonderful.
While in Delhi, I bought a book called Raja Yoga.In this book, the author described the seven bodies Iwe consist of, starting from the physical body and ending with the spiritual body called the Supreme Self or Atma. He suggested a technique to realize the Atma by rejecting everything you can see about yourself as not the self. Continue rejecting until nothing is left. In this way you will reach to the Supreme Sel I practiced this in Benares and some understanding arose that I am that, The Supreme Self.
I was feeling so beautiful inside, a feeling of something new and wonderful about to happen. It was in the air. I wanted only to be good so I could be with God. In Benares, I met a Spanish man studying sitar named Fernando Diaz. I stayed in his house and we began to feel a most loving connection. It was during my stay with Fernando that the window to the divine opened again.
Split Second 2
The holy city Benares,
that frontier between worlds,
of burning ghats and Mother Ganga
embraced me one evening
while walking with a friend.
A man suddenly appeared
out of the teeming masses surrounding us,
touched my forehead and disappeared.
‘Why did he do that?’ I wondered.
‘You have been blessed,’
my friend answered.
Later at home we shared our food
So perfect was this warm night.
I stepped out to the veranda for some air.
I saw the fires and heard
the drumming of several marriage ceremonies
in the distance.
Suddenly... the sky seemed to light up and open
and everything stood still
as if I were in a vacuum
and not of this world.
An immense feeling but more than a feeling,
closer to a Presence, overwhelmed me
that God was there.
God was there and was surrounding me,
surrounding the Universe.
God was there and only its presence was felt.
In this total immensity I bathed,
merging with its glory
until a feeling occurred,
if God is here,
he is coming for me and i will die.
My body and being quivered
in fear as I fell apart.
It was left to my friend to soothe my heart.